This is a long story. The day we left Honey Valley earlier this week was one of the most outrageous travel days I’ve ever had. I woke early to work, and after packing up the three of us hiked out of Honey Valley following the same jeep track we trekked up two days ago. We arrived at Kabbinakad junction after nine and waited there for the bus.
Women in bright saris and men in dhotis stood barefoot on the side of the dusty road also waiting for the bus. When the small sundries shop opened—biscuits, toothpaste, coriander powder—the men flocked over to get a pinch of betel nut to pack their cheeks. They smoked hand-rolled cigarettes and spit the red betel juice into the dusty road. The bus arrived after about forty-five minutes, and we fought our way on. Old Indian ladies will elbow you in the ribs if you’re not careful.
The bus was actually calmer and less crowded than on the way to Honey Valley two days ago, and an hour later we arrived in Virajpet. Ready for breakfast, we ducked off of Virajpet’s loud and crowded main street and into a restaurant, washed up, and sat down to paranthas—flat bread, like tortillas, finished with a little melted butter or oil—which are called porotas in Kerala, with a yellow-lentil dal and freshly roasted and brewed Kodagu coffee.
Rejuvenated, we spent an hour at an Internet café and then went to find a jeep to take us to the Keralan border. We’d heard horror stories about the road from Virajpet to Kerala, but it’s the only way to get to Kerala from the Coorg region. The road is so bad that it’s now off-limits to most vehicles; only jeeps and the necessary construction trucks are allowed.
We bargained a fair price for the 27 kilometer ride and piled into the jeep. Four men sat across the front seat and four of us and the luggage packed into the back. (The jeeps are old, British-style Mahindras with sideways bench seating in the back.)
The road was not a road. It was red dirt filled with rocks and boulders. It winds through the hills from Virajpet, in the hills, to Kerala, at sea level. Monkeys swing through the trees and laugh at how pathetic your jeep is. We went about fifteen kilometers in over an hour. The jeep rattled and we all held on to the metal bars on the jeep’s interior roof to keep from hitting our heads.
When the driver finally stopped before a bridge, the three of us tumbled out the back, giving each other looks, stunned and thankful. We were all covered in dust. The men who had ridden up front without any luggage walked over to piss on the side of the road. We all walked across the bridge into Kerala.
The vendors over the Keralan border tried to sell us some kind of fermented coconut liquor. There was no cold beer, so we opted for the only cold drink they had, a locally made cream soda that tasted like Coke mixed with coconut water. It was pretty good. We waited there for the next bus. It arrived, grinding gears, the driver slamming to a halt. We got on and he gunned the gas before we had time to sit, all of us falling over each other in the aisle. This driver was insane. He drove faster than anyone I’ve seen in India.
Fortunately that ride was only twenty minutes. We arrived at a small city called Iritty and had to change to the local Kannur bus. We got our packs up on the rack above the seats; we all got seats instead of standing room, and Fletcher, who’s tall, even got an aisle seat so he could stretch his legs. Things were looking good. It was a fairly smooth two hours. It was hot and dusty, but there was a nice breeze going through the bus. When we passed schools the students were lining up outside to be dismissed for the day. Kerala can have a nice calm to it.
We reached Kannur and as we pulled into the station our bus was broadsided by another bus. I saw the whole thing happen: the other driver got angry because our driver had cut him off; he threw up his hands and didn’t break and purposefully clipped our bus. When it happened we were all standing up ready to get off. We got banged around a little, gathered ourselves, and disembarked. A crowd of people swarmed over and surrounded the two drivers who were about to go at it fist to fist. We looked over at the ensuing mess, looked at each other, shrugged, and went to find some tea.
We had chai at a stall near the bus stand and planned our next move: an auto rickshaw to a hotel on the coast. It was late afternoon, it had already been a long day, and our minds were working very simply: Shower. Clean T-shirt. Cold beer. Some dinner. But those things were all far from happening.
We found a hotel but it was a little pricey and overlooked a rocky beach where you couldn’t swim. But to me the hotel was nice, comfortable and clean, and they were playing American hip-hop at the nearby beach-side restaurant. I was ready to throw down every penny I had, but Fletcher said he’d read about some secluded places on the coast about 8 km. from Kannur. He said to wait there, that he’d go take a rickshaw to check it out and would call us if he found anything.
Mattea and I sat at one of the restaurant tables and watched the sunset: a ball of neon orange sun falling from a light blue sky into the ocean. My sister and I were sweaty, smelly, hungry, exhausted, but we were together in Kannur, India watching the sunset over the Arabian sea. It could’ve been worse.
Fletcher called. He said he’d found a cheaper guesthouse with meals included and access to a secluded beach. He gave us the name, KK Heritage, but said few drivers would know of it so ask for Costa Malabare, a nearby hotel. My sister and I gathered on packs and left to find an auto rickshaw. We were a few kilometers outside of Kannur and had to walk back most of the way to the city before we found a ride. We were not in the mood to walk. It was getting dark. We told the driver the name and repeated to make sure he understood. We said that it was on the beach and 8 km. from Kannur.
He drove directly back into Kannur, through the loud city streets filled with smog during evening rush hour, in the opposite direction of where we thought we should be going, and stopped in front of a small shopping complex filled mostly with jewelry stores. It was called “Malabar’s.” We told him that wasn’t Costa Malabare at all. Hotel, we said. 8 kilometers from Kannur. There was a security guard outside. We told him where we wanted to go, and he explained to our driver.
Five minutes later we were stopped at a light, and he started asking another auto rickshaw driver for directions. The light changed, he drove one hundred meters and pulled into a gas station. There was a long line for gas. At the gas station he started asking more people for directions. Many men came over, surrounded our rickshaw, wondering what the fuss was about.
My sister had her head in her hands. It was dark and loud and we were very far from where we wanted to be. We wondered if we should just get another rickshaw. I called the Costa Malabare hotel, and asked the receptionist to explain to our driver how to get there. The receptionist kept telling me that they were full for the night. I said that that was fine, that I had a reservation at a nearby hotel and just needed directions to the area.
No, he said, we’re all full. I just need to know how to get there, I told him again; I don't need a room. Just please tell this driver how to get to your hotel. I gave the phone to the driver and he talked for five minutes.
When we stopped with other vehicles at a train track crossing, he again started asking other rickshaws drivers for directions. It had already been over an hour. My sister and I were both nearing breakdown. The guy had no idea where we wanted to go.
Indian men will never tell you that they don’t know when they don't know. They'll make something up. After the train passed he drove on and we sat mute in the back as he drove farther away from the city.
It was dark and there were very few lights or people or other vehicles on the road we were on. It was strangely quiet and remote. The rickshaw barely made it up a short, steep hill; the road was all potholed. Maybe ten minutes later we arrived at a small town. He got out to ask again for directions. We had no idea where we were.
That was enough. We grabbed our bags from the back and started walking away. The driver got back in his rickshaw and gunned the gas, driving directly at us. We jumped out of the way. We were incredulous. Had this guy just tried to hit us with his rickshaw? He got in my face and we were yelling at each other. I said things my mother wouldn't approve of. He wanted us to pay him for the ride, and I told him that he’d taken an hour and a half to bring us to the middle of nowhere and no way in hell we were going to pay him.
The street had been quiet, but suddenly we were surrounded by a group of people, all men and boys. The driver and I were still face to face, when another man pushed us apart and asked me if he could help. His name was Vineeth. He paid our driver because I wouldn’t and offered to take us where we needed to go. He said he knew Costa Malabare and KK Heritage. Ten minutes later, he pulled up in front of the hotel. My sister and I thanked him profusely and paid him what he'd paid our driver and more for taking us the last few kilometers.
India can bring you to your knees. Mattea and I were both utterly shaken by the whole experience. I’m sure that her version of the story would be somewhat different, but I know that either of us would’ve been willing to do just about anything to just get away from those streets and to our hotel, to a cold shower and some dinner. But we never knew where we were and each passing minute in that rickshaw seemed to bring us farther into land we didn’t know, where they spoke a language we didn’t understand.
But we got there, had our showers and vegetable coconut curry and cold beer for dinner and twelve hours of sleep under a fan and mosquito net. The next morning we walked on the secluded, stunning beach and swam and tossed a Frisbee on the white sand and in the surf.
Back at our bungalow we had a late morning breakfast of coffee, and bananas cooked with ghee and fresh sugar cane served alongside an airy bread made from rice flour and dried coconut. India can bring you to your knees, but it lets you get up again.